Crazy Love, Chapter 8: Profile of the Obsessed.

I think that for me, this chapter mostly just solidified themes that I had already been thinking as a result of reading this book. In fact, in a lot of ways, it's simply the content of chapters 5 and 6 rephrased in a different way.

And I think that there are just a few overall things that really stuck out to me in reading.

First off is simply the idea that following Jesus is radical. I think that there are a lot of people (myself included) who would gladly agree with that statement, but do not recognize the incredible impact that it has on their individual lives at all. If Jesus is a radical revolutionary and I am a follower of Jesus, doesn't that necessarily mean that in some way I need to be radical too?

As I read this book (and this chapter in particular), I'm just overwhelmed with this feeling that none of it makes sense. It makes perfect sense in principle, but for a person to live this way is simply puzzling. It makes no sense to us. It certainly makes no sense to the world, and I don't really think it's supposed to. This is a type of lifestyle that is made possible only by the incredible indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.

When I was growing up in middle school and high school, I probably heard countless sermons and/or lessons in youth group about living a life that makes people ask the question, "Why?" I've lived a pretty nice little Christian life. But a nice little Christian life isn't the one that makes people ask you why. A big, audacious, seemingly crazy and nonsensical life is the one that does that.

It's really tempting to look at the apostles, at missionaries like Barnabas and/or Silas and think that they simply practiced Christianity to the max. But I have no doubt that other, less esteemed or notable members of the early church did that too. What if the early church wasn't practicing this amazingly dedicated Christianity (though it would certainly be accurate to describe it that way)?

What if that's really the only kind of Christianity?

It sounded cool and trendy and countercultural when just Jesus was radical. When we make a correlation between Jesus and ourselves as followers of Jesus, the words we might use instead are ones like

weird.

challenging.

difficult.

dumb.

not for me.

It's funny how that outlook changes.

Which I think transitions me perfectly into my next observation: following Jesus is hard. I think I talked about this last night, but I want to hammer it home here, too. There's simply no "if's," "and's," or "but's." Following Christ is difficult. It requires surrender of all we have: our time, our talents and abilities, our money and possessions, and our love of comfort and self-interest.

Reading "Crazy Love" has made me realize that as a Christian, I kissed goodbye to an easy life a long time ago. If I want to live a life that truly encompasses all of what God teaches and all of what Christ stood for, I've got to do tough things. I've got to give sacrificially. I have to love people who don't like me and/or would rather have nothing to do with me. I have to purposefully and intentionally engage in relationships with people outside my little social sphere and bring the light of the gospel into their lives.

That is a difficult life, but it is the one that God calls each Christ follower to.

And that brings me to my final point, which is simply that all of this is overwhelming. As I prayed after reading this chapter, I kept coming back to God saying how crazy it feels to even think about living a life like this, and how impossible the task of being transformed into a person who lives like this seems. And that's when I kept coming back to the fact that that is the role of the Holy Spirit.

I've written on here before (and I still believe with all of my heart) that I play a big role in my transformation. God will do and has done everything necessary to allow me to follow Him fully and completely. Yet, I still have to make those choices.

I had to choose to believe.

I had to choose to follow.

I had to choose to trust.

And the moment I make those decisions, God will be there for me in a nanosecond. When I make big decisions, God immediately comes alongside and nurtures me, grows me, and transforms me in a way that I believe only He can.

So when I look at this life and feel overwhelmed, I sort of get the sense that God is saying, "Yeah, that's the point. It's not about what you can do; it's simply about you making the initial choice. When you decide to get started, I'll be there. I'll do all the work that you think is impossible. Heck, that word's not in my vocabulary."

This is a life so big that only God could make it happen, and that's the point.

And as I keep praying for God to help me to love Him truly and completely, the motivation to live a life like this will almost magically appear too. That's incredible.

So God, use all of me for Your glory. Make me obsessed... for You.

Desire.

Well, taking some time to write tonight from the Garlands' house... yet another family that has done so much for me and has longingly bestowed their hospitality on me. I have learned a lot about that in the past year or so... it started in Brazil and now continues in Springboro and will continue when I move to Chicago in a few months. Lord, thanks for the awesome, gracious, loving, and compassionate people that you put into my life.

Tonight, as I was driving here, for some reason I started to do a little bit of thinking about Psalm 42, and the psalmist's declaration that "as the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after You, oh God." It got me thinking about a few things.

Number one, I wish I could honestly say that about my life right now. Over the past few weeks, I've started to try to get into the habit of running a half mile or so before I get my day going, just in an effort to try and get a little bit more into shape. I am in terrible shape, and so when I finish each day, I am parched. I'm breathing hard. I'm sweating. Nothing feels better than a nice, tall, cool glass of water. And that's kind of the imagery I get here.

I wish that I could say I desired God that much. But I honestly don't know that I can say that right now. I used to feel that desire was something that just happened. You either had it or you didn't. As I've continued to grow up, though, I realize that the more you come into contact with beautiful things, the more you desire them. So I guess I need to work harder at exposing myself to the beauty of God, whether that's through a heartfelt prayer, the beauty of Scripture, or the wonder of worship.

Secondly, I started to think about the whole idea of desiring God. What does it mean to "desire God?" I think that's one of those church phrases that I just throw out there all the time without truly thinking about what it means. So tonight, I dared to define that. I came up with few different things. I think that desiring God means that I make a continual effort to spend time with him, whether that's Scripture, prayer, worship, or even just thinking about God and the way of life that he calls me to. I think that it's really important to make the recognition that when we truly desire things that we set aside other stuff for that thing. For instance, do I really desire my girlfriend, wife, or best friend if I'm not willing to turn off the TV and go see them or talk to them?

But I think that just as importantly, desiring God means that I genuinely desire for God's kingdom to come on this earth. And that has some huge implications as well, mostly because bringing God's kingdom to earth starts with me.

It starts with me taking the initiative to love other people, even the hard to love ones.

It starts with me making service a daily part of the life I live.

It starts with me having the courage to cultivate relationships with others.

It starts with me taking time out of my day to deal with others' problems, even when I have other stuff that needs to be done.

It starts with me diligently working to be a more Christlike person.

Beyond that, truly desiring God's kingdom to come requires me having the courage to encourage and lead other people to do these very same things. Not only must I lead by example, but I have to actively encourage other people to join in. That can take several forms: sharing the gospel message with someone who doesn't follow Jesus, finding a way to involve other people in the things that I am working to do for Christ, and sometimes even giving a swift (but loving!) kick in the pants to Christians who keep sitting on the sidelines.

For me, all of this is kind of a big thing to think about. Desiring God isn't just a state of mind, but it is something that can and should be directly seen through who I am and what I do. That can be difficult work, but that is the work that God calls us to! I'm sorry for the times and ways in which I don't demonstrate this. I'm still a work in progress. Can we try again? Together?