Throne.

Do you ever sit in church and something hit you like a sack of potatoes?

For the first time in a really long time, I had that sort of experience today.

Our sermon today was entitled, "Kingdoms in Conflict," which to me didn't initially sound so convicting. I mean, I am a minister, so conflict is kind of a way of life for me sometimes. People will always have complains, issues, and things that they need to work through or ways in which what they want might conflict with what I, as a church leader, believe that our church needs. While I don't enjoy that, and I refuse to accept that things have to be that way, I understand that is the way churches are. It's just a way of life.

But with that being said, I'm not in any conflicts or major issues with people. In fact, I'm generally a pretty easy-going kind of guy. I hate confrontation, and I generally stay out of arguments and other sorts of "dramatic" things. That's not how I roll.

But our pastor totally blindsided me today (seriously, it was like the finale of The Sopranos... it was that unexpected). He didn't approach conflict from the whole worn-out, "You need to be nice to people and everyone needs to love everyone" perspective.

He instead approached it from the perspective of the Kingdom of God, and that changed everything.

Now I recognize that I am in my 6th semester of Bible college. I recognize that I am a double major with one of those majors being Biblical studies. But the whole "Kingdom of God" thing is something I am far from having worked out. Jesus talks about it a ton (over 100 times) in the Gospels, but I still am largely confused on what the Kingdom of God really is. I've sat through a few lectures on the topic, read literature from very smart and experienced Christians, and I still am not sure what the whole kingdom thing is all about.

But one thing I do know is that the kingdom essentially deals with the agenda of Jesus. The Kingdom of God is characterized by things that Jesus believes should define individual Christians, the church as a whole, and hopefully, the world:

• Loving God first and foremost
• Being kind to your neighbor
• Loving all people, regardless of race, background, religion, political views, etc.
• Sharing the Gospel message with those who do not yet know Jesus
• Refusing to act out of anger
• Showing grace toward other people
• Treating people like people, not manipulating them like objects

That's obviously not an exhaustive list, but you get the picture. When I do stuff like what's mentioned above, I am in some way advancing the Kingdom of God and advancing God's agenda here on the earth. When I do not do these things and instead embrace attitudes like selfishness, greed, hurting others, etc., I am hindering the Kingdom of God from being brought to the world around me.

But our pastor illustrated this so clearly today. The Kingdom of God is basically about who you have on the "throne" of your life. Who is most important? In a kingdom lifestyle, God is on the throne, taking the place of prominence. Each decision and action revolves around how I am serving God. Unfortunately, we frequently do not place God on the throne of our life. Instead, we end up placing ourselves there. Thus, we have kingdoms in conflict.

But our pastor said it so well:

"A life lived with yourself on the throne has no part with the kingdom of God."

It's as simple as that. I can try to blind this fact with as much empty rationale or rhetoric as I'd like, but we always come back to this basic fact. A life that doesn't have Christ at the center in no way is part of the kingdom of God.

And that, to me, was very convicting for some reason.

Recently I've become very aware of how bad I am at this whole Christianity thing. I just finished reading the book The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard and I am currently working on Richard Foster's book Celebration of Discipline. Both of these books outline the practices of the spiritual disciplines for the Christian life. These books cover things like prayer, study, and fasting, but they also cover other things like celebration, simplicity, solitude, among many others.

What kills me is not so much that I don't do these things, but I can never imagine doing any of these things. If I am honest with myself, I know that my commitment to basic disciplines of prayer and Scripture reading are lax at best. Recently, I read on another blog I follow about how one of the greatest types of evangelism is simply allowing people to watch you dance... his point was that sometimes evangelism isn't doing a "God drive-by," but rather living your life in a way that is refreshingly different and causes people to wonder why you are the way you are. Again, if I am honest with myself, I know that my dance probably isn't making any people wonder why. I'm not living in the midst of any huge sins or anything, but I believe that the Christian life is marked by forward motion, not just standing still.

Our pastor aptly pointed out that when we put our self on the throne of our life, we find our kingdoms to frequently be in conflict with other people's self-driven kingdoms (or those who are actually embracing a God-driven agenda). Conflict doesn't just happen; it comes about because we aren't willing to take our self off the throne and do our part as the body of Christ to humbly submit to one another (James 4:1-2). The Bible calls people like that (that is, people like me) "spoiled children" (James 4:3, MSG).

Ouch. That hurt. But wait, it gets better:

"You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that he is a 'fiercely jealous lover'" (James 4:4-5, MSG).

Cheating on the God of the universe. Good job, Wesley.

But James offers a solution in 4:7-10. We need to let God take the lead in transforming us. We need to quit dabbling and sin, and start working to change our inner life. Easier said than done, certainly, but it's a worthy work that I need to start undertaking.

Of course, God has grace for sinners like me. I don't believe that God is fiercely angry with me or hates me, because that's not what the Bible's doctrine of grace teaches us. Instead, I believe that while God is certainly a little disappointed with the way in which I've allowed myself to take the position of authority in my life, God is certainly willing to love me with the most ferocious, amazing love in the world. And I, for one, am willing to embrace that.

So God, I hope you hear me when I say that I'm sorry for the ways in which I have allowed myself to be on the throne of my life. Please step into the place of utmost prominence and importance. Please transform me from the inside out, making advancing your kingdom the highest priority in my life.

And all 4 of you reading at home, I hope this wasn't just a stupid rambling, but that you really take the time to consider all of that. Place Christ at the center of your life, and learn to humbly submit to his authority and to his leading.

Also, check out this blog. It will change your life: www.stuffchristianslike.net.

Seriously, I laugh out loud at just about every post.

wb