The Rennovation of the Heart

Today was a good day. Not a super interesting one by any means, but still a good one.

I hate homework so much, but it was 10:30 and the sun was shining and I couldn't go back to bed, so I picked up my book for Church Growth & Planting, did a few chapters, and then went to brunch (which was actually very good, by the way). I came back to the room with the intent to do some more homework, only to be distracted by a couple episodes of Project Runway.

Of course, since it's Bravo, they reshow the same episodes from the season over and over again. This time, they showed the photo-inspiration one and the USA Olympic team one. As I was watching, I was reminded about how glad I am that Keith Bryce is gone. Seriously. I mean, what a whiny, complainy, wuss of a person. I could put up with that if he was a halfway-decent designer, but still. I am glad he's gone. And though he at first annoyed me, I am starting to like Suede. He's so over the top... you've gotta love it. But I'd still have to say my favorite designer is a toss-up between Leanne and Kator (not sure how you spell it!) though. Both are quite talented. There's still just no stand-out in the group this year, though. I'm a little disappointed.

Anyway, from there, off to C.J.'s church since I'm playing in the band for him this weekend. I suppose that was fine, but I have two issues. Number one, while the drive is beautiful and lovely, and for the most part I like the people at C.J.'s church, it is still a 45 minute drive. I think I needed to choke back tears tonight as I mourned for the gas pouring out of my tank. Also, their sound man drives me crazy. He's just so... weird. I guess I should try to make a better effort instead of judging him like the weak little seventh-grader that I am inside, but still. I just don't get it sometimes.

My evening finished up with an unexpected visit to C.J. and Ami's apartment for dinner, at Ami's invitation. I love those two so much. And the great thing is that they are just as wonderful together as they are separately. They complement each other well, and marriage is working out very nicely for them. It always makes me happy when I'm able to spend time together with them. I just wish I wasn't the 3rd wheel though. That's never a pleasant thing. Of course, neither is trying to pry C.J. away from his "Time" magazine, or the Ohio State loss this evening. I guess some things you just have to tough out.

And recently, I'm (re)discovering that I'm not as great a Christian as I like to think that I am. Oh well, such is life. I've noticed that really since high school, my walk with Jesus has kind of stagnated in a way, but not because I've quit attending church or anything like that. Granted, I could definitely do a better job of commiting myself to prayer and to studying the Bible (kind of ironic, seeing as how I do carry a Biblical Studies major), but (not to sound arrogant) I think I'm at a point where I know enough about the Bible. My problem isn't knowing, and most of the time, it isn't doing, either. My problem is being. I struggle with the attitudes of the heart. Things on the outside are for the most part good. But I struggle with grace. Kindness. Truthfulness. My favorite... pure motives.

I think I have stagnated a lot because I have just now realized I'm at a point in my faith where God is ready for me to undertake the more difficult work of rennovating the heart. And that is challenging. Yet, I believe in the end, it will be rewarding. The first place I'm going to start is with trust and generosity. I'm going to tithe tomorrow... a whopping $10.40, but nevertheless, 10% of my last paycheck. It's the first time I'll tithe in over a year. We'll see where this goes...

Sorry this was boring, but hey. They can't all be super interesting.

Until next time...