Crazy Love, Chapter 4: Profile of the Lukewarm

So to be perfectly honest, I looked forward to reading this chapter about as much as I would probably look forward to a root canal... or amputation.

But because of my desire to complete this book (or maybe just because I'm stupid), I kept reading anyway. And sure enough, it was rough going.

Over the past year especially, God has been opening up my eyes to an understanding that the Christian faith involves tough stuff. First off, Christian spirituality is tough stuff. There's the whole don't have sex before you're married thing, followed by the don't get drunk with all your friends thing, only to be followed by the whole you need to have intensely personal faith conversations with people who don't know Jesus thing.

And that doesn't even account for the whole love others and turn the other cheek thing.

But secondly, being a Christian involves becoming like Christ. And Christ was persecuted. He suffered. He was even crucified.

And we are called to do the same...?

I don't like the fact that I serve a God who commands me to die at the altar of self so that I can live a life that promotes the interests of others, that helps those who don't have a voice, that gives care and compassion to the people I feel deserve it the least. I wish Christianity was cooler and more trendy and popular. I wish that I was part of a faith where when I mention it I draw smiles off of people's faces and not scowls. I wish I didn't have to feel like there's the humongous elephant in the room of homosexuality or drinking or sex or you name it when I'm trying to make new friends who might not happen to be Christians. But that's a part of faith. That's a part of being a Christian... embracing stuff that's usually unpopular and that often makes your life harder, not easier.

When I read this chapter, I keep coming back to the simple idea that walking from a lukewarm Christian to a crazy love Christian happens when we simply learn how to go the extra mile. This chapter forced me to ask some difficult questions of myself regarding going the extra mile:

• Do I give to those who are poor or in need? Nope.
• Do I give sacrificially? Sometimes.
• Do I really look at my times with Jesus as something to enjoy, or just something I have to do? Probs the latter.
• Do I focus on heaven instead of the things of this world? To be honest, I can't even remember the last time I truly focused on the world beyond ours.
• When I'm at church, am I truly loving God or just going through the motions? Well, sometimes I find my mind wandering during worship, and I can't tell you the last time a sermon effected any serious life change for me.
• Do I love and care for people, even when they don't love or care for me back? Thinking of this I'm really haunted by some of the people I went to high school with. I can think of two guys who were, frankly, real jerks and acted stupid in school. They weren't really that nice to me. Yet, did I still reach out to them and love them like Jesus would? Nope. I can think of another girl who was just incredibly annoying and inconsiderate, and now in the post-high school world has turned into a real whore (sorry for the crudeness, but it's the truth). Yet, did I reach out beyond all the things I saw with her that annoyed me or that I disliked and try to love her? Nope.

I have a tendency to look at Jesus and the disciples and Paul and those guys and really look at them as radicals. The Bible would instead have us understand that these people weren't radical Christians, but just Christians. These were just people living the fullness of the Christian faith and the teachings of Jesus out. That's what a Christian is supposed to look like.

Just like anything else, I can't move on toward growth and healing until I own up to who I am and what I've done. So here, before everyone, let me make the confession that I am a lukewarm Christian. There is no getting around that. I haven't lived the Christian faith out in its fullness, and for that, Jesus has every reason to spit me out of his mouth. Take a few minutes and really think about that for yourself. We have a tendency to just sort of shrug it off, but give the question some real consideration. Are you a lukewarm Christian?

We need to repent. I took some time to do that this evening. God, I'm sorry for not giving sacrificially as You gave for me. Lord, I apologize for not loving people who don't love me back (even though You always love me, no matter what). God, I take my life and I lay it before You. Forgive me for the stupid words and the meaningless prayers and all that stuff. Lord, grant me Your forgiveness, and please through the power of the Holy Spirit help me better follow You.

But we shouldn't just meditate on all the stuff we do wrong... whether you're a lukewarm Christian or a crazy love Christian, God grants us His grace no matter what. We just fall down, and God picks us back up, dusts us off, and like the woman in John 8, tells us to try again. God's Holy Spirit is working in me, and I pray that He transforms me into a Christian who is deeply and madly in love with Him.

Lord, transform me. And forgive me.

Amen.