Faith.

So today I've been doing quite a bit of work on my final project for a class that I'm taking on the Psalms.

I wish I could say that the class has been extremely interesting, but it hasn't. My final project is to compose 15 pages worth of sermons on the Psalter. A preacher, I am not, but I guess I'm looking at it as an opportunity to write... or something like that.

But today I have almost finished one of my sermons. It's on the lament psalms... the psalms that cry out to God and ask for him to stand up and take action in the life of the writer. These have always been the psalms that really interested me. Number one, because I think that I can relate to that writing better than any other writing in the Bible. I mean, it doesn't take a whole lot to relate to themes of pain, abandonment, and emotional distress. I think that we've all been there before. Those themes are ones that run their course through each human heart.

But one thing I think I've come to develop a deeper appreciation for while I've been working on this project today is how the Psalms are so intensely personal. They express a faith that isn't very common in churches anymore. Psalm 13 begins with the writer saying, "God, how long will you forget me?" Psalm 22 begins with the writer asking God if he's going to forsake him and leave him to rot forever, or if he'll ever get up and do something.

That's not language you hear in churches anymore.

But I think that is the true language of faith.

Western Christianity has developed this idea that faith is something neat and tidy that fits into a nicely wrapped little box. We don't have problems, and if we do, they end up being glossed over into a new hit worship song by Chris Tomlin or David Crowder. I don't feel that many churches give people the freedom to truly express the anguish that they feel in their soul when bad things happen.

When they hear the word "cancer."

When a child dies.

When he walks out on her.

Even more so, churches don't give freedom to people to express their pain when it comes for no other reason than that they feel like God is distant and far off. That's oftentimes the most difficult pain to deal with, because there's seemingly no reason for it. It's not like there's a concrete physical circumstance that's looming overhead.

And heaven forbid that we not look spiritual by having everything put together.

But I am a firm believer that faith is messy. We don't serve a God of the cleaned up and put together. We serve a God who deals directly with pain and pained individuals. That's what our faith is all about.

When I think of faith, I think of Job. He had everything taken from him: his family, his possessions, and even his friends turned their back on him. He had nothing, and God seemed non-existent. Yet, in the midst of this, Job somehow held onto his faith until easier times came.

When I think of faith, I think of Habakkuk. He was a prophet who didn't understand why those who did evil prospered while those who did what was right always seemed to fall. It just didn't make sense. It still doesn't. As you read the book of Habakkuk, you get this sense of a man who is coming to God in deep pain. Habakkuk questions the justice of God. How could he allow such things to happen?

Heck, even Jesus demonstrated some messy faith on the cross as he questioned why God forsake him, quoting Psalm 22 in Matthew 27.

When I think of faith, I think of all the people who have ever had the courage to question God and weren't ashamed of it. I think of people who were brave enough to talk about how things don't always make sense, how following God doesn't always lead to happy endings, and how sometimes bad things really do happen to good people for no real reason at all.

When I think of faith, I think of those who aren't afraid to dive into the dirt, grime, and muck of what it means to wrestle with God. What it means to wrestle with faith.

In the Old Testament, God's chosen people were called "Israel."

What does "Israel" mean?

"He who wrestles with God."

To be one of God's chosen people means to wrestle with God. To ask the difficult questions. To go beyond Wednesday night worship services and Sunday school answers. To be one of God's chosen people means to embrace that sometimes faith is very messy and that sometimes things don't make sense.

To embrace faith is to understand that we hold the hand of the God who made it all, and to trust that somehow he is working things together in a way that we can't understand.

I want to embrace a messy faith. Will you?